![]() |
| Indie Published — Find it at Amazon.com |
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Friends With Death by James Wright—An apocalyptic horror comedy
Friday, April 7, 2023
Free Reads On NetGalley, Plus a Review on Piñata, by Leopoldo Gout
If you aren’t familiar with it, NetGalley is great. It's an opportunity for writers to get their work out to readers for free in order to coax honest reviews of their recently published (or soon to be published) work. It’s an opportunity for readers to get a free look at new books by both new and established writers before the general reading audience sees it.
Of course there’s a catch. Readers are expected to leave a rating or review of the book. But this isn’t like Goodreads, where there's that chance of a new author giving you what for if the review isn’t what they want to hear. No, NetGalley is a trusted intermediary in that process. There's no chat room where author and reviewer might virtually bump into each other. NetGalley is the barrier between the two, giving the reader the chance to give an honest opinion and the author a chance to garner thoughtful feedback for themselves and, potentially, more readers.
I've prefaced this blog with a pitch for NetGalley for two reasons. First, I am going to review a newly released horror novel, Piñata, by Leopoldo Gout. I found it on NetGalley. Second, I'm pitching my own new release, Perfect Sacrifices, which isn’t currently on NetGalley, but will be soon. Perfect Sacrifices is book three of the Perfect Prophet series, and you can find books one and two (Prophet Reborn) on NetGalley for a limited time, starting now. I am so happy with the completed third book, and I hope horror readers will love it. But it needs reviews before people will consider it, and there is a bit of backstory that comes easier if you’re familiar with the first two books. Perfect Prophet and Prophet Reborn have decent professional reviews, but it's the regular reader reviews that people look for. The more, the merrier. So please feel free to check out and review Perfect Prophet and Prophet Reborn for free at NetGalley for the next three months. You can post those reviews elsewhere too, if you want to make an author happy. Here's a link where you can sign up or login if you’re already a member…
https://www.netgalley.com/auth/login
And here’s a link to Perfect Prophet and Prophet Reborn specifically…
https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/?text=Diane+M.+Johnson
Onto the real reason you’re here, a review on Piñata by Leopoldo Gout.
https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/267318
First, thank you to NetGalley and Tor Nightfire for the ARC of this intriguing horror novel. I’m a sucker for horror with cultural or historical roots, and Piñata easily fills that bill. Also, I picked this book up on the tail end of reading a book that failed the Bechdel test, and that metric is still at the back of my mind, so… This book has several female main characters who talk to each other about things beyond the men in their lives. Bravo, Mr. Gout. You passed the test!
I enjoyed this horror piece, about a Mexican descended family from NY who travel to Mexico because of mom's work as an architect. It doubles as an opportunity for the woman's school age daughters to get a taste of their heritage but, teenage girls being who they are, it doesn’t end well. But the teenage apathy isn’t the worst of the family’s problems. The mom, Carmen, is a woman in a male dominated field, and the site that her firm is helping renovate into a hotel is an old church with a dark historical past.
The near decimation of the Mexican indigenous population at the hands of conquistadors and Spanish missionaries has left a centuries old stain on this location of the world, and the history and cultural relevance of the piñata is at its core. Once part of Nahua rituals of death and rebirth, it has now become a party favor, a mockery of its original importance and meaning. Until Carmen's youngest daughter Luna shows up and introduces herself to the long silenced spirits of the past who seek revenge. Luna becomes a sort of conduit for those vengeful spirits in a way that that little girl in the movie Poltergeist was used by the voices on a static filled TV. Sort of. I’m not going to provide any more possible spoilers except to say that the idea that Poltergeist uses—the gentrification over sacred land, is an easy comparison.
I enjoyed the book, most definitely, although the build to the horrific end was a little slower than I would have preferred. The slow build pulls the rating down maybe more than it should. I don’t know, maybe it was the writing style that was fine…but it didn’t quite fill me with the looming terror that I felt it should have. Until the end. It ramped up quickly by the last quarter of the book.
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
New Year, Old Script --Supernatural -- Schism
I thought I might start off this new chapter in my writing career by sharing an old spec script that I wrote for the TV show Supernatural five years ago. I'm trying to be more active in my blogging, and I thought this might be the way to do it.
Schism is one of four scripts that I wrote at the time, and if you're a Supernatural fan, then maybe you'll enjoy it. Two of my Supernatural specs had placed well in a few screenwriting competitions. This wasn't one of them, haha. But I still like it, and the series has progressed to a point where this particular episode wouldn't currently fit into the story. In 2013 it would have.
If you're a Supernatural fan, and if you like it, maybe you'll enjoy reading one of the two books I have available at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble or other online retailers. Both The Schoharie and Perfect Prophet are supernatural horror/thrillers, and by "supernatural," I mean the genre, not the TV show.
Warning: This is a dark episode that addresses suicide in an unflinching way. You should know that ahead of time. Also, apologies for any missed formatting issues. The text conversion from Final Draft to this blog space was wonky, and I had to make limited fixes line by line.
And if you do read it, thanks for supporting my work!
SUPERNATURAL
"Schism"
Written by
Diane M. Johnson
Dean tries to break through to Sam who is trapped in a dream
world believing himself to be schizophrenic.
SERIES SPEC
FIRST DRAFT
Phone: 02 19, 2013
Website: www.dianemjohnson.com
CAST
SAM WINCHESTER
DEAN WINCHESTER
JESS WINCHESTER
LISA WINCHESTER
CASTIEL
CROWLEY
LUCIFER
DJINN
TEASER
Fade In:
EXT. LAKE SIDE - NIGHT
A small log cabin nestled within the woods just short of the shore. A dock stretches out across the water.
At its farthest end, a body floats face down.
UNDER WATER
A closer look at the floater. It’s SAM WINCHESTER. Eyes fixed, face placid. He’s taken his last breath.
FROM ABOVE HIM
Slender arms dip in. They struggle to pull him up.
BACK ON THE DOCK
A WOMAN rolls Sam onto the dock. Her face obscured by long locks as she frantically administers CPR.
WOMAN
Don’t you do this, Sam! Don’t you
do it.
Mouth to mouth, compressions, mouth to mouth. She sobs between each set, about to give up when Sam spits up water, chokes on more as he takes in oxygen.
WOMAN (CONT'D)
Oh God! Thank God!
Are you alright? Tell me you’re
alright.
No, Sam. It’s okay honey--
DEAN
Sam?! What happened! Tell me what
happened--
--Get away from me!
Sam, please--
--This isn’t real! This can’t be
real.
This wasn’t supposed to happen! You
were better!
Go back inside. I’ve got this.
Lisa?
Come on, Jess. It’s okay.
You okay? You alright, now?
What is this? What is going on
here?
It's a vacation, right? A little R
and R from the real world--
--This isn’t real. It’s a trick.
Lucifer. Or a Djinn--
DEAN
--A jinn. What’s a ‘jinn?’
Sam stares up, even more troubled. He shies away from his brother.
It’s alright. Ease up, calm down--
--This isn’t happening!
You’re right. Whatever you think
this is... is worse than what it
really is. Understand?
Better?
Good. Now be honest with me. Was
this an attempt? Another one?
Because you tear Jess apart every
time--
Wait, you think I--... Suicide? No!
No--
--Then what. Did you slip? Forget
how to swim? Or did you skip a
dose? The meds keep you on track.
You know that--
--I’m not on any ‘meds!’ And Jess
is dead! Ten years, now!
Right. Ten years. Ten years of
managing.
Managing what? You’re not back with
Lisa!... Are you?
DEAN
This is gonna be okay. It always
turns out okay. Come on--
--You’re not my brother--
--And who am I this time? An
‘angel?’ A ‘demon?’ What?!
Sam, I can’t help with this if you
won’t let me in--
--‘This’ is cruel.
I know who you are! And I know what
you’re doing.
Okay... If you know who I am, and
if this isn’t ‘real’... then maybe
it’s best if you just play along.
Come on. We’ll go back to the
cabin, you’ll get some rest.
Everything will be better in the
morning.
INT. CABIN - BEDROOM - DAY
His fingers trace aged scars along the length of an exposed wrist. The scars look deep, jagged.
He closes his eyes, a prayer on his lips.
Castiel, if you can hear me... If
you can find me, I need you... I
can’t live through this...
nightmare. I can’t, Cass.
I brought you some coffee.
Sam stares deeply into the mug as Jess settles beside him.
So, prayers to ‘Castiel.’ That’s
good.
I could do without our life being
compared to a nightmare, but yes.
Prayer is hope. Even if it is only
to the ‘Angel of Thursday.’
We met on a Thursday.
Jess beams. She scoops his hand up in her own, lets her
shoulder caress his shoulder.
JESS
You remember that? Is that why you
always pray to him instead of some
other better known angel? Like
Michael, or... St. Peter?
I think Michael would be happy to
see me dead.
You don’t know how much I wish this
was real.
This is real, Sam. Our life is
real. And the demons that haunt
you? They don’t exist.
And it’s a good life, right? You,
me, Ruby--
Sam?-
Ruby? Really? Do you think I’m that
stupid?
Stop it! This is why you scare her--
SAM
Scare her?! She used me! And tried
to kill me! You’re not doing this--
Doing what--
--You’re not getting inside my head
and twisting reality. Ruby is dead--
--She’s your daughter--
--I don’t have a daughter!
She’s five, Sam. And it’s getting
harder and harder to explain why
you do the things you do.
When she walked in on this? At age
three? You don’t ‘have a daughter’
because you push her away!
Take your meds.
Just one.
Dean gives a solid rap against the door jamb. It startles Sam. He closes up the wallet.
Breakfast.
Yep.
You okay?
Yep.
Maybe we can hike up to the point
later. Just you and me.
He’s not taking his meds.
Then we cut the vacation short. Get
him back home--
--I’ll handle it.
It’s not your problem.
It is my problem. It’s always been
my problem. You knew that before
you married me.
Hey Sam! Spinach omelets. Your
favorite, right?
So... How long has it been? Since
you and Lisa got married?
What’s it, like six years now?
Six years.
Ben’s like, a ‘teenager.’ When did
that happen!
And too much like his Dad.
Man, I am not looking forward to
it! Hey, remember Dad? He dreaded
the teenage years. Not that I blame
him.
Right.
At least it’s not like having
teenage girls, right ladies? That’s
a whole different kind of hell.
Hope you’re looking forward to it,
Sammy.
Eat up. You’re going to need the
energy to beat my ass to the top.
Half way there.
Leaves Sam blinded by the light. Sam lets his eyes adjust. A glimpse over his shoulder, and he spots a man watching him.
Beautiful, right? I’m king of the
world! DiCaprio’s a poser!
Come on, Sam. Pull up a rock and
we’ll chat.
Stay hydrated. You’ll thank me
later.
unobstructed view of the cabin and the dock.
THROUGH BINOCULARS
Looks like the girls are taking in
the sun. All we need is a little
skinny dip action, and we’ve got
ourselves some free soft core--
--Stop.
Come on, Sam. Look what God has
given us. Perfect day, perfect
sights, perfect world--
--Since when do you give any credit
to God.
You know what? You’re right. Let’s
stop dancing around why we’re here
and get down to business.
It doesn’t matter what you say
because none of this exists.
That’s the schitzo talking--
--I’m not schizophrenic!
Then what. What is it. Should we go
through the checklist again? One, a
problem telling the difference
between reality and fantasy.
Two. Hallucinations. Three.
Depression! Four. Suicidal--
SAM
--Are you trying to set me off?!
Five. Anger issues!
Well, then you-- You’re not far
behind me.
Did you sleep last night?
No.
Six. We go through this every
couple of years because you get it
in your head that you’re supposed
to suffer! And that none of this
can be real--
--It’s not. It’s a mind game. I
could be sleeping for all I know.
Or in a coma. Or back in hell--
--You were never there! Listen to
me! You have a good life. People
care about you--
--Until they die.
Who is dead here? Mom? You weren’t
even old enough to remember that. I
was... So why don’t I see the
horrible life that you do?
What about Dad?
He’s got issues. But he manages. We
all learn to manage, Sam. You need
to learn too.
It’s too perfect. Me and Jess? You
and Lisa--
--It wasn’t perfect getting here.
But right now? It’s nice. Why can’t
you accept that?
Because Lisa and Ben don’t even
know you--
--So you’re the poster child for
meaningful relationships, now? Is
that it? When I found out that she
lied about the DNA test, Ben became
mine. He’s my son! And I did the
right thing, and we are happy, Sam!
We are happy! In fact, the only
thing that stops this from being my
perfect world is you!
In fact, the only thing that keeps
Jess, and Ruby and even Dad from
being happy is you!
Stop.
You need to hear it. And Jess, the
way she’s stood by you? Wow! I
wouldn’t have done it.
You have done it.
If I wasn’t your brother it would
be different.
I know that you don’t want to be
the reason we’re all miserable.
This will change that.
SAM
So you want me to be numb? Just
take my little pills and zone out?
Like you and your ‘water?’
It’s water--
--It’s vodka. Or at least it would
be if this was actually happening.
Take the pill, Sam.
No--
--Take it. Because if you don’t? I
will shove it down your throat.
Swallow it! Swallow!
Dean leans over him in a panic. Tries to feed him blood from a flask.
DEAN
Come on, Sam! Drink it! Swallow!
The blood hits Sam’s mouth, but nothing changes. His eyes still rolled back.
It’s not working... Crowley, it’s
not working!
Dean pulls a silver knife from his belt, douses it with the blood from the flask. The Djinn stop in their tracks.
Okay, which one gets skewered
first?
That’s not much of a threat without
lamb’s blood.
Oh, it’s lamb’s blood. I
slaughtered it myself.
Nice try, Winchester. But I can
smell it.
Well, you don’t know... what else I
have up my sleeve.
The leader of the Djinn looks unimpressed. She signals the other two to close in.
A hand grabs Dean’s shoulder. It’s CASTIEL, the trenchcoat clad angel of Thursday. Castiel pulls Dean down, grabs hold of Sam and makes the three of them disappear.
FADE OUT:
How did you know where to find us?
Even in a coma Sam isn’t afraid to
pray.
He’s been missing for days. God
knows how deep the poison goes.
I’m sure He does.
That’s it? I’ve been trying to get
your attention for months. And I
mean months! And this is what it
takes to get you to answer?
Is this your idea of a prayer,
Dean?
Okay. Fine. We can pull him out of
this--
--How?
What do you mean, how? You work a
miracle and it’s done.
Cass? What are you waiting for?
This is where he is. The place of
his dream. Do you know it?
I don’t... Cass?
I’m done here.
What do you mean you’re done?
You’re not done! Cass, there is no
antidote. The last time we used
one, it didn’t work. Djinn poison
is literally boiling through Sam’s
veins, and you’re more concerned
with our location? I need you to
focus!
I’m still not hearing this as a
prayer--
--I don’t have time for some pissy
grudge! Sam is on lock down in a
dream that could be his worst
nightmare and--
--There are worse fates than dying
in a coma--
--I swear, Crowley has more to
offer than you.
Fix this!
The middle of nowhere... access to
nothing...
Come on, Sam, just swallow. It’s
all I’ve got, so let’s just...
pray.
Feeling better?
Whoa! Okay. I guess I deserved that
a little... A perfect world, right?
DEAN
Yahtzee!
Dude, Yahtzee? Really?
If it’s a win, it’s a Yahtzee.
Don’t mess with my mojo.
Getting tired?
INT. CABIN - BEDROOM - DREAM WORLD - MORNING
Hey. You want this, right?
I want this.
Sam on the board. He rides the wake with a huge grin until he topples, goes under.
Jess leans over the side with a hand to help Sam back in.
Your turn.
You’re not getting me on that
thing.
Come on, Jess! Show these guys what we’re made of!
She beat your time, Sammy.
Beginner’s luck.
Is that a smile I see on your face?
This is nice, right?
Crap.
He fiddles with the ignition. Can’t get it started.
What happened?
I don’t know! This is still new to
me--
LISA
All these years fixing cars, and
you don’t know how to start a boat?
It’s all in the throttle.
I think I just had an inappropriate
thought. Would you like to show me
how it’s done, Mrs. Winchester?
It’s alright! We’ll be there in a
minute!
Sam clears his throat, waves to Jess again.
Just... one more minute...
Jess?
Jess!
Sam! Wait--
Sam resurfaces in a panic. He turns toward the boat. Dean and Lisa not on it. Instead, Castiel. Sam’s eyes dart around for signs of anyone else before Castiel calls out.
It’s only me, Sam.
I had to get you alone--
--You’re not doing this!
Technically, you’re right. This
place all comes from you, and maybe
I don’t belong in it. It’s
complicated... But you did pray for
me to help you through this
nightmare, and I’m here to try--
--Try?! By taking her away from me?
By leaving me alone out here?!
She was never here, Sam. You are
alone--
--Bring her back!
She doesn’t exist. Not in a
corporeal sense... You’ve been
poisoned to believe a lie--
--This moment is a lie! YOU are the
lie!
I understand. I wish I could help
more, but I’ve been... busy... Just
know that you are not the problem.
Dean is. He needs to learn how to
pray... To think that over all this
time, I’ve been betting on the
wrong horse--
SAM
--Bring Jess back!
Is this what you want?
Damn it, Sam! Just give me your
hand!
Sam opens his eyes, the boat right behind him. Dean, Lisa and Jess lean over the edge coaxing Sam to take the outstretched hand.
ON THE BOAT
Sam sinks to the floor after he’s pulled on board. Lisa drapes a towel around him. He pulls Jess close.
Don’t leave me.
I’m right here.
What happened?
I don’t know--
--What do you mean ‘you don’t
know?’ Like you zoned out and fell
in? Or was it something else?
Dean, you need to give him some
space.
No, Lisa. That’s all we give him is
space. And what does he do?
Takes a nose dive for no apparent
reason and doesn’t surface for God
knows how long? You were zoned out,
Sam. Where did you think you were?
I thought I lost my ring. I jumped
in to get it.
Your wedding ring. This one right
here. You ‘thought’ you lost it.
Tell me, did you take your meds
this morning?
Well?
Yes!
He did. I was with him.
Did you tuck it back in your cheek?
Wait for Jess to leave before you
pitched it down the can?
Dean!
That’s what he does!
I didn’t!
You’re only lying to yourself--
--I'm not lying to anyone!
Don't do this. Not here, not now.
You know what? Lisa’s right. We’re
taking you home. Back to your
reality. The padded room where you
can’t hurt yourself--
--Dean! Back off!
I’m sorry.
I’m not going back.
Castiel, as I live and breathe!
Come inside. Join me over a scotch.
You know I can’t do that.
It’s the angel proofing, isn’t it.
If I had known you were dropping
by, I would have tidied up--
CASTIEL
--What are you doing to Sam?
Sam’s not here. I’m not doing
anything--
--I spoke with Dean.
Your name came up.
Ah, that. Sam went missing. No one
knew where. No one knew why. Dean
apparently couldn’t get in touch
with you, but I was fortunate
enough to cross Sam’s path. He was
in trouble. I gave Dean a lead on
his whereabouts. I guess that makes
me a good samaritan of sorts.
You don’t help the Winchesters
unless there’s something in it for
you.
You would think Dean would know
that by now. But I guess he was
desperate. What’s the matter, Cass?
Feeling a bit guilty over
neglecting your little pets?
Sam is in a coma.
A Djinn induced one. What a shame.
To be honest, I don’t think he knew
it when it hit him.
And how would you know that?
I can’t help Sam because Dean
doesn’t know how to pray.
Interesting... Can’t, or won’t?
It’s complicated.
So I take it that you bought a new
dress, and Dean said you looked fat
in it?
I don’t own a dress.
You’re pissed at him. It’s a visual
comparison- Never mind. So I take
it you know where they’re hiding?
Why do you want to know?
I don’t... But if Dean was smart
enough to find me, I just might
have a little something to keep Sam
from... you know.
Ah- ah- ah! Angel proofing.
Oh no...
My baby!
Cass, I owe you an apology.
INT. CABIN
Dean! I’ve been waiting for your
It’s a little difficult when you’re
in the middle of nowhere with no
service--
--Did you find him?
This is what I don’t get. Sam goes
exactly where he is.
Sounds to me like you ‘get’ more
than you let on. Is he here--
--You set us up.
And?
And?! Crowley, he’s so deep in
dream land that I can’t pull him
out! And this?
This didn’t do anything! It’s not a
cure--
CROWLEY
Don’t sell my blood short. It’s the
only thing prolonging Sam’s life.
Demon blood strengthens the vessel,
and all? It’s a good thing Moose
has that little flaw too. If it had
been you in his place you’d
probably be dead--
Drop the knife. Drop it.
Not very smart, if your goal is to
prolong the inevitable.
Why do this?
I got a visit from Cass. He says hi--
--You owe me an explanation!
I don’t owe you anything. But,
okay. I’m in a chatty mood. Let’s
start with the Djinn. They don’t
really like you with your track
record of killing them off, so it
was easy to get them on board--
--Sam knows how to take out a
Djinn.
He wasn’t looking for one. He was
looking for me. The Djinn took him
out before he knew what hit him...
He probably still doesn’t.
DEAN
Why, Crowley?
Because Lucifer is a problem child.
He’s hold up in a cage, bored out
of his mind making a bloody racket
24/7! Even I need a bit of shut eye
once in a while. So, I get this
idea. Lucifer has this bit of wifi
going between him and Sam’s head.
So... the Djinn put Sam in a coma,
mess with his reality so that
Lucifer can watch?
TV makes the best babysitter. And
tormenting Sam? Call it a perk. Of
course, if the Djinn had their way,
they’d drain Sam to his death. And
that wouldn’t do anyone any good.
Well, that’s just great. Except for
one problem. Sam is in too deep. He
is here, in this place, with Jess!
And how would you know that?
Lucky guess.
They really were a cute couple. So,
how did you end up here?
Let me guess. Cass... Do you think
Sam’s little nightmare might
involve watching Jess just burn to
a crisp over and over and--
DEAN
--You really are a sick bastard.
Duly noted. So is Sam here?
Sleeping Beauty needs a shave.
Either you fix this, or God help me
I will--
--Do what? And with God’s help?
Of course, if you don’t want Sam to
die living out his worst
nightmare... or, I don’t know.
Maybe it’s his dream come true
since the Djinn can spin it either
way, then you might want to let me
pass...
He nods toward the salt barrier.
...so that I can help keep him
strong with the blood of kings.
Now you just look desperate.
Give me a ring in a couple of days
when he needs a refill.
Get out.
Oh, and don’t bother trying to find
your way to the nearest town for
‘special supplies.’ It’s not that
close. And your fuel line sprung a
leak. I checked.
Back to Sam’s bedside, back to his head hung low.
Sam, I pray you can hear me...
Please. What you’re living isn’t
real. It’s not... I don’t know
what’s playing inside your head,
but I know it’s a game. And the
only way to break free and come
back to the real world is to kill
yourself.
Find a gun, a knife, whatever you
have at your fingertips. And you
kill yourself... If you kill
yourself in a dream, you wake up.
That’s how I did it. Wake up and
come back to me. Back home.
Just one.
SAM
Does it matter?
This isn’t a game! They only keep
you on track when you take them
right--
--which doesn’t matter because I’m
‘lying.’ Maybe I should just take
them all and be done with it.
I’m giving them to Dean. Lisa and I
are going home. And Dean will take
care of it.
You’re leaving me? Again?
Sam, I never left you. You left me.
You wanted to stay--
--I didn’t want you to stay.
Well, you’re stuck with me. To the
bitter end.
From the edge of the woods, Sam spots someone watching him.
I know you’re there.
Can’t sleep? Maybe we should take a
stroll then. Or a moonlight ride on
the boat.
Every time I try to reach out, you
shut me down.
I never know if you’re reaching out
or getting ready to punch me.
Yeah, well... Guilty.
I’ve tried. I really have. For ten
years. And I’m tired. I don’t think
I can do this anymore.
Then don’t.
DEAN
You’re giving me permission to give
up on you?
I never asked for your help.
No... You never do. So, it’s like
this.
I’ve made a decision. To end this.
What does that mean?
If you can’t find comfort in this
world, fine. I can’t change your
mind. I can’t make you happy. So
stay here. Wallow in it. But the
rest of us want to move on. And we
can’t do it with an anchor.
Is that what I am? An anchor?
Come on! Just breathe it in. It’s
what you want! It’ll be done!
Survival mode kicks in. Sam breaks free. A struggle for control as both men swing and grapple.
Sam claws his way to the far end of the boat. Dean snags Sam’s leg as Sam grabs hold of the wake board.
Bravo, Sam. Way to commit. Be
honest. It felt good, didn’t it.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
There’s only one thing left to do--
--Is this real?
Everything you feel is real. So,
how does this make you feel?
BEDROOM
Cass.
I can't go through this, Cass! Not
again. Not like this. I can't.
What do you want me to say? That
I'm sorry because I take you for
granted? That I take Sam for
granted? Well, I don't... You're
busy, I get that. But I need you to
help me, and I don't know what you
want me to say.
DISSOLVE TO:
empty.
He dry heaves over the toilet, as if trying to get rid of those pills. A look at his reflection finds him pale, emaciated.
Sam backs away from the window.
Sam?!
Sam! This is real! I’m real!
Sam, it’s me! I’m your brother--
I know an angel. Named Castiel. He
told me that you were my problem--
--C-Cass? Cass! Cass, help me-- HELP
ME!
Castiel stands between them. He waits for Dean to catch his breath.
That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Screw you.
I’m sorry, Sam.
You’re not going to work your
little magic fingers and just heal
it? Or are you still on strike--
--Some prayers are best left
unanswered.
Yeah, thanks for that.
Painful lessons make your kind
stronger. Or they break you.
And where’s the benefit in that?
Tell me.
An opportunity to learn another
lesson.
So all this was some test? To see
if I still had any faith in you? Or
God? Is that the ‘lesson’ I was
supposed to learn?
You chose Crowley to handle this--
--because you weren't there.
And Sam? What about him?
I wasn't the one testing either of
you.
I have nothing, Cass. Nothing here.
Nothing in some made up reality in
my head. Nothing.
You have Dean.
Dean... Right. I’ve got... that.
Every other connection to something
meaningful to me? Just severed.
I almost proposed here.
And what stopped you?
Nerves. We were still at Stanford.
I thought I had time. I think her
parents knew what I was planning,
but...
But?
I backed out. I think they were
relieved.
Yeah. They were relieved... Not
long after that, Dean was back in
my life. And everything changed.
Everything.
Dean catches the sound of his name. He hobbles toward the door to hear better.
He has nothing but your best
interest--
--Just stop, Cass. Just--
I thought I was past this. I
thought I was past... Jess. And
everything else. It turns out...
I'm not.
Part of Jess will always be with
you. Right here.
Take it.
She’s in a better place.
That doesn’t mean anything. But you
were right, Cass. Dean is my
problem.
And all this?... was cruel.
A sudden breeze. Castiel and the scrapbook gone.
Not the body--
Not the paint--
Not the hood...
Sam heads for the woods. He doesn’t look back.
Do you have a minute?
his life, Dean is at a loss for words.
I don’t know what to say... I
honestly don’t.
Then don’t--
--I’m trying, Sam! I’m trying to
say that I’m sorry. Your life...
Our life? This wasn’t the plan.
This was never the plan. And I get
it. I do. It’s all my fault. Your
life might be better if I had never
come back for you... And I don’t
know how to fix it. I don’t.
Maybe you should stop trying.
So what. You're telling me to give
up on you? I can't do that.
It’s not all your fault.
Well, that’s a relief... So did my
baby have to take the brunt of it?
I'm sorry.
You should be.
Dean, I scare myself. The whole
time I was dreaming? It wasn’t
about what you did. It was what I
did.
Did you try to kill me?
Well... Was I being a dick?
Yeah... You were.
No grudges, then. Clean slate.
So, this dream world... Dream come
true, or nightmare?
Both. Why?
Well, the part where you wanted to
kill me. Was it--
SAM
--No grudges, clean slate.
DEAN
Okay, then.
SAM
I'm tired of being manipulated...
Used.
DEAN
Yeah, well I've got a hole in my
hand, so...
I need a beer.
It’s eight in the morning.
A little sympathy here?
I’ll see what I can find.
Ah, breakfast of champions.
SAM
When are you going to find
something original to say.
Hipster.


